A long day...

Addison has been sick for a few days now. It started as a cough and runny nose and turned into 103 degree fever. Luckily, I was able to get her into the doctor and get some antibiotics. The fever has stopped but she is still congested and fussy. Last night she was up all night whinning and fussing (when the light/tv was off) I think she was having nightmares or something. Needless to say our day got off to a bad start and only got worse. I am not sure if it's the TERRIBLE TWO'S or if she just doesn't feel good, but she was the worst she has ever been today! I was so ready for Ryan to get home from work and give me a break from this whinny butt! Of course she straightened up when he got home (they are laying in the bed watching "T" right now) and giving me a break from 'mommyhood'. I am so thankful for Ryan being such a great dad... it makes my life so much easier.

Anyway, today was just a bad day all around. The weather was dreary and I have been thinking about my miscarriage a lot in the last two days. We would have found out the sex of the baby this week. I was hoping to find out before Friday so we could go to Canton and buy lots of baby girl/boy things. Thinking about that makes me feel blah... I am already annoyed because it seems like everybody I know/see is pregnant. I don't like pregnant people...my friend Candice is the only exception to that. She has wanted a baby for a long time and we are so happy for our friends. Anyway, someone told me that when they had a miscarriage they were angry. See I was sad, but apparently I have moved into the anger phase of my grieving! It makes me angry when I see people having their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th child...I mean really...I would just like to have 2 for now. So anyway, my anger has made me just avoid pregnant people for the time being. I'm happy your happy that you are pregnant...but I'm not happy! That's my attitude...it's not the right way to be, but that's how I feel right now.

So anyway, I am hoping for a good night's sleep, better weather, and a better attitude tomorrow. Afterall, I am making CUPCAKES with my favorite girl tomorrow...surely that will put me in a better mood. Tomorrow has to be better than today... today was just blah...